Thursday, September 29, 2016

Love Defined

I Corinthians 13:4-12 is overly used at weddings to the point that we have become desensitized to the intention of God. This passage describes the type of love our Father has for us and in turn we are to strive to know this love fully and attempt to love others with this same love.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
Patient and Kind
I feel that these words are coupled together for a purpose.  In my own brain, it seems to make sense that in our patience we would continue to be kind, not pushing for a decision or pushing someone to move when they were not ready.  For example, I know a couple who are married but she did not say yes initially when asked to marry.  The man was kind in his waiting, he allowed her to have her time until she was ready, of course he was saddened because of rejection but he did not identify himself with that word.  It was more about his potential Bride, she needed, and he provided.  They are happily married now.  
Does not Envy or Boast, Arrogant or Rude
I never like the negative "don't do" commands, mostly because it goes against my idea that we should just focus on what we should do, rather than the should nots.  Being content with what we have, where we are, not jealous of others.  Love is not prideful either.  I think that God clarified that fully with all these words because they all seem to be rooted in pride. Facebook is a terrible place to be jealous and prideful. Brag posts about spouses are fine, I am not saying we shouldn't build our spouses up with words, especially if that is a love language they speak.  But it is important to check out heart's motives here.  Is it to show others or is it the purpose of loving well?  Am I reading them with eyes turning green with envy or happy for my friends?
Does not Insist on its Own Way
So this talks about the dying to self issue I am currently struggling with in my own life.  "My way or the highway" doesn't fly with love.  Another version says "it is not self-seeking".  There is no room for selfishness.  It is a tall order for all of us. Husbands specifically are given the command in Ephesians to love wives with a self sacrificing love, being willing to literally and figuratively lay down your life for her.
Is not Irritable or Resentful
Love is not easily offended and quick to forgive.  This covers so much of why we should not live in the throw away society as far as relationships are concerned.
It does not Rejoice at Wrongdoing, But rejoices with Truth
Focusing on truth.  That means viewing others through the eyes of God, not the filter of our own pasts that are filled with pain.  Love does not keep a list of things that were done to us.  
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
YES YES YES. I love this portion of the verse.  This whole verse reminds me of poetry but this specific part speaks to my inner warrior.  Like a self pep talk right before a bride walks down the aisle.  All things... there is no exception in that.  Bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring.  Enduring pain.  This has Jesus written all over it.  The moment that his love for us was seen. 
Love never ends. 
It is unconditional.  No matter what that person does or doesn't do, love continues.  Love does not rely on others to prove they are worthy of love, or worthy to keep loving.  Love does not rest on someone else's actions. 

I have been guilty of "unlove". I have given ultimatums, forced conversations that should have waited, I have been ugly in my approach, I have controlled, I have been angry when I did not get my way, I have accused, I have been a skeptic, I have held on to past hurts, I have been jealous of others, I have envied the lives of my friends, I had not accepted the love God was giving me.  God is changing me through teaching me about his love.  I am worthy of his love.  And others are worthy of the love I choose to give.  

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