Guilty but Forgiven

Oh Lord, 

Forgive me. Forgive me for trying to control my life for 28 years. Forgive me for being prideful in my own approach to Christianity. Forgive me for thinking I had it all figured out.  I barely know you at all.  

Forgive me for entering into a marriage with a false perception that I would be made whole.  Forgive me for passing judgement on those whose marriages had failed.  Forgive me for being ignorant to your purpose for marriage.  Forgive me for looking at your children as the enemies, and not being able to identify the true enemy even though it is clearly stated in your word.  Forgive me for packing you into a box.  Forgive me for forgetting that you are King of kings and Lord of lords.  Forgive me for waiting to try to know the love you have for me.  Forgive me for trying to fill up the void in my heart with sinful things.  Forgive me for expecting a fellow sinner to be my Jesus.  Forgive me for thinking I was an exception to your promises, that I was not worth your love or your time.

This is my prayer today.  It hit me in church, I am so guilty of all of these things...on a daily basis.  But I cannot stay here in this place.  Yes I have made mistakes, and yes I am forgiven, and yes God still wants to spend time with me.  What a beautiful picture that is for us to focus on!  That though we are constantly reverting back to sin and breaking his heart, we are forgiven for it all, that our Father still desires us to be close to him.  He does not turn away from us or send us away.  He wants us to keep coming back to Him.  Praise our God for being the merciful and grace giving God he is!