Love Defined

I Corinthians 13:4-12 is overly used at weddings to the point that we have become desensitized to the intention of God. This passage describes the type of love our Father has for us and in turn we are to strive to know this love fully and attempt to love others with this same love.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Patient and Kind

I feel that these words are coupled together for a purpose.  In my own brain, it seems to make sense that in our patience we would continue to be kind, not pushing for a decision or pushing someone to move when they were not ready.  For example, I know a couple who are married but she did not say yes initially when asked to marry.  The man was kind in his waiting, he allowed her to have her time until she was ready, of course he was saddened because of rejection but he did not identify himself with that word.  It was more about his potential Bride, she needed, and he provided.  They are happily married now.  

Does not Envy or Boast, Arrogant or Rude

I never like the negative "don't do" commands, mostly because it goes against my idea that we should just focus on what we should do, rather than the should nots.  Being content with what we have, where we are, not jealous of others.  Love is not prideful either.  I think that God clarified that fully with all these words because they all seem to be rooted in pride. Facebook is a terrible place to be jealous and prideful. Brag posts about spouses are fine, I am not saying we shouldn't build our spouses up with words, especially if that is a love language they speak.  But it is important to check out heart's motives here.  Is it to show others or is it the purpose of loving well?  Am I reading them with eyes turning green with envy or happy for my friends?

Does not Insist on its Own Way

So this talks about the dying to self issue I am currently struggling with in my own life.  "My way or the highway" doesn't fly with love.  Another version says "it is not self-seeking".  There is no room for selfishness.  It is a tall order for all of us. Husbands specifically are given the command in Ephesians to love wives with a self sacrificing love, being willing to literally and figuratively lay down your life for her.

Is not Irritable or Resentful

Love is not easily offended and quick to forgive.  This covers so much of why we should not live in the throw away society as far as relationships are concerned.

It does not Rejoice at Wrongdoing, But rejoices with Truth

Focusing on truth.  That means viewing others through the eyes of God, not the filter of our own pasts that are filled with pain.  Love does not keep a list of things that were done to us.  

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

YES YES YES. I love this portion of the verse.  This whole verse reminds me of poetry but this specific part speaks to my inner warrior.  Like a self pep talk right before a bride walks down the aisle.  All things... there is no exception in that.  Bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring.  Enduring pain.  This has Jesus written all over it.  The moment that his love for us was seen. 

Love never ends. 

It is unconditional.  No matter what that person does or doesn't do, love continues.  Love does not rely on others to prove they are worthy of love, or worthy to keep loving.  Love does not rest on someone else's actions. 

I have been guilty of "unlove". I have given ultimatums, forced conversations that should have waited, I have been ugly in my approach, I have controlled, I have been angry when I did not get my way, I have accused, I have been a skeptic, I have held on to past hurts, I have been jealous of others, I have envied the lives of my friends, I had not accepted the love God was giving me.  God is changing me through teaching me about his love.  I am worthy of his love.  And others are worthy of the love I choose to give.  

Choose Love

The enemy has a PhD in the art of distraction.  I make up my mind to focus on something God is helping me to understand and the enemy distracts.  He uses other people to try to spread his lies, capture the doubtful spirit, all at the expense of those in pain.  Satan wants us to show our ugly, and he wants us only to see the ugly in other people.  But it isn't working.

                                   I choose love!
How can we do that if we do not know the love of the Father? Answer: we can't.  God is my first defense against the lies of the enemy, and God is love.  Those who try to cause hurt or pain in our lives, have compassion on them; they have no idea who they are and no intimate knowledge of the one who calls them "chosen".  I will be praying always for those who are in my life who choose to reject this perfect love.  I trust that God will bring them to a place that they will be faced with a decision and will choose love, to accept the love freely given, and to, in turn, love with that same pure love.  They will experience a life changing moment that will be eye opening, they will shed the skin that kept them contained in a place that didn't allow for growth.  The chains will be broken, they will no longer be slaves, unable to be used for the enemy's purpose of destruction.  They will reach up hands and hearts open ready to be filled with love then reach out to give the same unconditional love to others who do not know.

Learn about this love, learn about our Father...know the love that He is.  Choose love.

John 4:7-21 (because it is all so good and clear)

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

       

Falling... into His Arms

Oh, Lord! I am so mournfully sorry.  I did not want to see yesterday.  I wanted to believe I knew better, that I could take it from here.  I wanted to control my own fate.  I closed my fist to hang on tight once again.  Lord it is yours! It is not mine, it was never mine! I was not dying to self. I was trying to take your plan from you and make it my own. How foolish I was! Please forgive me and have mercy on me! Please pour out your love, your grace as you teach me and as I slowly and painfully learn this lesson again and again. Not my ways father, but yours... not in my timing Lord but yours!

How I was drowning in pride, trying to prove, Lord, I was tested, I was tempted... and I fell for the enemys deceitful plan.  He saw me rising up in my own power and he whispered to those who could bring me down.  Please, forgive me, my Savior and my God.  Bring me back to you.  I give you control again lord, I do not want it.  I have allowed myself to be used and pushed down again. Take control of my hands, my feet, my words.  Cover me, cover me with your wings, protect me, give me strength through your truths.  Stand in front of me, blocking me from the snares of the father of darkness. 

I praise you as my almighty God, for opening my eyes to reveal what I have done, to show me clearly where you are and where the enemy lingers...help me to not take this lesson for granted. 

God's Voice at 3 AM

At 8:15 last night, I read a chapter to my son (and daughter), I tucked him in, and laid down with her to try to get her to sleep before me.  However, with the darkness my new room offers, I ended up succumbing to the power of my drooping eyelids by 8:30.  Normally, I fight sleep, I love the hours between 11 pm and 2 am.  It is a time that allows for little distraction and much alone time.  My inner introvert shouts with joy at the thought of this time.  It is my alone time with God when His voice is at its loudest.  Last night, I missed it.

This doesn't matter, God finds a way and I trust him.  He gently nudged me awake at 2 am.  I was awake enough to get up, turn on my lamp, and talk with him.  I pour my heart out to him like I seem to do more often these days.  In the midst of this he spoke words of comfort.  Minute by minute I was given peace.  He gave me songs through pandora that I needed to hear, affirming what he was already trying to tell me.  He created me, he knows I tend toward skepticism, He knows He needs to make his voice so obvious to me.  I praise him for knowing me so well, and for giving me what I need.  Sweet moments with my Father.      

He Has Called Me Higher

I was Eve in the garden. I was tempted. I was offered fruit that was unknowingly tarnished. It's true it was beautiful, it appeared to be one of the freshest, and upon ingestion would bring a promise of New Life. Ripeness at its state of perfection. I fought my senseless hands and heart that just wanted to reach out and grab it. They, in their foolish optimism, could only see what could be. But the unveiled side of the fruit would reveal the truth. Mealworms eat away at the rotting bruised bounty. Far from appetizing. Eating it would not bring me closer to what I wanted. It was hidden in a lie that my heart wanted to see as truth.  The enemy knows me better than I have ever wanted him to.  He is using others for his destructive purposes.  He cheers when I fall into temptation. 

But I hear God's voice echoed in those who I now trust more than myself in these situations. 

I did the hard thing.  The desires of my heart were second to what God was calling me to do.  And through these moments, I am taught to trust God fully.  Trust that my situation is in His hands and no deal I could make would be better than what He was doing. 

It's not over, it will most likely become more challenging and even more painful. And through this my response must continue to be:

                                                               "But God"

Guilty but Forgiven

Oh Lord, 

Forgive me. Forgive me for trying to control my life for 28 years. Forgive me for being prideful in my own approach to Christianity. Forgive me for thinking I had it all figured out.  I barely know you at all.  

Forgive me for entering into a marriage with a false perception that I would be made whole.  Forgive me for passing judgement on those whose marriages had failed.  Forgive me for being ignorant to your purpose for marriage.  Forgive me for looking at your children as the enemies, and not being able to identify the true enemy even though it is clearly stated in your word.  Forgive me for packing you into a box.  Forgive me for forgetting that you are King of kings and Lord of lords.  Forgive me for waiting to try to know the love you have for me.  Forgive me for trying to fill up the void in my heart with sinful things.  Forgive me for expecting a fellow sinner to be my Jesus.  Forgive me for thinking I was an exception to your promises, that I was not worth your love or your time.

This is my prayer today.  It hit me in church, I am so guilty of all of these things...on a daily basis.  But I cannot stay here in this place.  Yes I have made mistakes, and yes I am forgiven, and yes God still wants to spend time with me.  What a beautiful picture that is for us to focus on!  That though we are constantly reverting back to sin and breaking his heart, we are forgiven for it all, that our Father still desires us to be close to him.  He does not turn away from us or send us away.  He wants us to keep coming back to Him.  Praise our God for being the merciful and grace giving God he is!
 

Alone but far from lonely

I don't ever want to forget tonight. I am alone but I am not lonely. I have been witness to the love of Christ, it has been generously poured out on me through other people. I was met where I was, at the crossroads of heartbreak and defeat. My brothers and sisters met me there held my hands and cried out to Jesus along with me. We lifted our hands and heart's desires up to our father. We prayed with humble breaking hearts. We prayed with authority... we, as a body expressed deep love for those who were not there. Each of us had revelations and God given visions. We Praised Him for bringing us through the trenches in order to experience a better relationship with Him. We were all surrounding. I was surrounded. I felt as if it was just me and God in a vast open place but at the same time I knew I was surrounded by fellow Warriors. I felt their hands, and through them there was strength.