I've watched you wrestle. I've seen you struggle, I've seen you fight, I've seen you be pinned by the truths defined by ignorant ones you loved. I've observed your brain working to decipher what is true. I have answered your questions and tried not to push. Encouragement came naturally of course, but because you are such a people pleaser I tried to be cautious and not let my desire for you, force you into something you didn't quite understand. This was a choice you had to make on your own. The good news was brought to you and most times you did not want to hear it. Seven years on this earth did not mean you were immune to doubt and you found clever ways to swim back to the shallows when feeling like you were getting in too deep. You battled to believe, to make sense of it all. God gave you candles to introduce you to the light, not too loud or blinding, but slow burning and consistent. These candles did not make a plan together but were used in God's plan for you to be saved by his son. Your questions were inquisitive and provoking, you collected information like an investigator. And when the time came that you were ready, you were indeed ready. You set a time, and a place... one that was a common place for conversations void of outside noise. A place that so many of your questions had been asked and answered in the months before. I held my breath as you began to reach your hand out to Jesus, not sure if you were really going to open your hand up to him and hold on for dear life as he saved you from the death you would face. Hours passed, silent prayers were said for you, and for me as I would be the one with you during this precious moment. I became nervous as we neared the end of our nighttime ritual. One book, one story out of the Jesus book, and then bedtime prayers. Excitement filled you as you could barely get the words out "It's time to make the choice!!" You reached into your pocket and pulled out the alphabetical road map mimi had written out for you. I watched and listened as you now answered my questions, I reviewed the plan one last time and asked if you were sure, we prayed together. I hugged you. I told you I was so happy that you were one day going to live with Jesus along with me.
I have always felt my own salvation story is boring, and lame. It isn't, because of what Jesus did, it could never be lame. Please know that after watching this process, your story is far from lame and I will try my best to always remember the moments leading up to this so I can help you to understand how much God worked on you, how often Jesus knocked on your door, and how often you did not answer.
Please know that this is only the beginning and being a follower of Jesus is a journey not an end point. I will be there to pray for you, and watch as God uses you in the lives of those around you. I am praising Jesus for making a home in your heart and for allowing me to witness such a moment.
Already, you are proving to have a heart for those still in the dark. Brynn is only 6 months old and you made sure you put the road map in her room so she may believe as well.
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